“After great pain, a formal feeling comes.” -Emily Dickinson
Grace comes from small gestures. A short note. Kind words. The shiva for my friend unfolded on Zoom like a song, each person in turn adding the music of their memories. Repeated over and over, these words: generous, funny, brilliant, thoughtful, loyal, kind. Each memory confirmed the loss and also the bond between those left behind. More than one friendship was rekindled during that hour. So the gifts of loss slowly become visible, and grief gives way to mourning. I make another batch of muffins for my family, listen to artists talk about their work, and get ready to move on. Thank you for your kind words.