“Painting is like an endless question-and-answer session. Each stroke is followed by a question; the next stroke is the answer.” -Mitchell Albala
Sometimes making art feels more like walking the wilderness without a good map. Infinite temptations in a vast space. Is that the path? How to know? Each step forward we feel our way, looking for the next steady place to stand, reorienting our self to the what light we can see.
This month I (finally) read Cheryl Strayed’s Wild. If you’ve read the book or seen the movie, you know she took a near-breakdown and put herself to the task of walking the Pacific Coast Trail, alone. In Wild, we travel with her through this miles-long journey, and through the grief of her fractured past.
Strayed writes courageously of not-knowing, of the journey taken up in ignorance, desperation, and hope. She lays out the parallels between walking alone and living your life. It’s all a journey. Risk and trust and sometimes good luck make it worthwhile. Her journey leaves her stronger in spirit as well as body. When she is about the to finish, she realizes
“I didn’t feel like a big fat idiot anymore. And I didn’t feel like a hard-ass Amazonian queen. I felt fierce and humble and gathered up inside, like I was safe in this world.”
An individual painting, assignment, or technique may make you feel like “a big fat idiot” but don’t let it be the boss. Put it aside, refresh your energy with sketches. Mix color swatches. Paint some papers for collage. Then try again.
Trust me, your brain will have been working on the problem while you looked away. Solutions are in reach. The painting may not be a bad as you thought. An answer is just around the corner.
I believe that making art can make us feel “gathered up inside.” Even the smallest project can soothe and restore. So, get out your art supplies. Draw a shoe, a plant, the view out your window. Paint. Paint again. As the poet Basho wrote, “Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.”